Tag Archives: gay rights

On Daily Posts and Closets

No, not that closet.

I’m amazed that so soon after I received the honour of being Freshly Pressed, I’ve also been featured on the Daily Post. I really want to extend my thanks to the WordPress community again, because I’m so glad to have become involved with such a warm community of blogs and people in my first month of being here.

I wish the young writer wrote much more about the difficult situation of gays all around the world, to make us know the problems they face everyday and to enable us to really be part of their life. How can each of us really help? We shouldn’t say “they” or “their”, but only “we” or “us”. Just human beings.

San Fermo

This was one of the comments I read on the Daily Press blog, and it got me to thinking. Now, whatever your opinion on sexuality, being gay is undoubtedly something that affects my life. It does cause me problems. But I don’t like to moan or even think too much about the “disadvantages” that come with my being gay. If I did, then I’d also have to start worrying about the fact that I’m gay, black, teenage and female (if I was Jewish and disabled, I think I’d tick all the disadvantage boxes). I will always face people judging me on these aspects of my person no matter where I go.

I’m in the closet. For the conceivable future, I will be there until I live independently. Why? Because I belong to a deeply Christian family who wouldn’t tolerate me being gay. And even if a few members of my immediate family did, my extended family would not. This is my problem alone. It can’t be helped. If I get frustrated, I blog or I write. Perhaps it’s not the best way of solving things, but it gets me by.

Is this a problem that can be rectified? Yes, and no. No, because society always needs an “other” to put down. It was the Jews, then the Christians, at the moment it’s the Muslims and gays. Problems like this will always be around. And yes, because being in the closet can drive a person mad. It used to drive me mad, but I’m looking forward to university in two years where I won’t have to hide myself. And before that, the most you can do to help someone in the closet is to give them someone to talk to. I don’t talk to my friends about being gay (only one of them knows), but I can talk to them about other things. If I get stressed, I can relieve this stress through conversation. Yes, there is the occasional awkward moment when I have to tread lightly (discussions about “crushes”, jokes about marriage and children), but for the most part talking is enough to help someone through a situation like mine. And while I can’t speak for all the closeted people in the world, I can ask you to speak to them.

Heck, speak to everyone. You never know who might be gay, especially in high school. I was talking to a friend once, and we were discussing how our lives might be like at a school reunion in the future. She mentioned that one girl might be gay, and when I laughed (at the irony, I can’t help myself sometimes) she said that I should keep an open mind. Any hope of her having one was dashed as soon as she added that she would be creeped out if she had to talk to a lesbian (cue more laughter, by the way). You just never know. So keep an open mind, and just talk to people. 😉

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110 followers! Wow! Thanks, guys! I’m so happy, I’ve just murdered my sense of good grammar and used an excessive amount of exclamation marks! 😀

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Mind the Gap: I’m Gay and Christian

This is the 21st century in the free Western world, yessir.

Yes, I’m wading into this whole debate. Well, not wading, more like already stuck in the middle and trying to be as quiet as possible. GAY-BASHING CHRISTIANS, the papers and protesters say. GOD HATES FAGS, the Christians say. And I’m there, sitting right in the overlap: I’m Christian, and I’m gay.

All this means is that 1) I happen to believe in Jesus: I follow his commandment to love God and my neighbour, upon which all other rules of the faith hinge, and 2) I also happen to be interested exclusively in women. The media doesn’t show us a lot, they like to show the two extreme views in the gay-Christian debate.

In the media: Christians aren’t fans of gays.

All the Christians in the headlines talk about is stoning the gays, how sinful being gay is, and how much God hates the gays. They mention how people like me pick and choose which parts of the Bible to believe, so that we can justify our wicked ways. As usual, they neglect to mention that every Christian does that. After all, I’m not sure I know a Christian who observes the Jewish festival of Yom Kippur, a festival which must be observed according to the book of Leviticus, which is also the book of the Bible admonishing gay sex between men. Neither do I know of any good folk who stoned their child to death for (inevitably) speaking back to them–can’t have your kids disrespecting you now, as the Bible said.

In the media: Gays aren’t fans of Christians.

I have a few friends, formerly of faith, who abandoned it once they came to terms with the fact that they were gay. Because they believed the two were incompatible. And many gay rights activists dismiss the homophobic Christians by making light of their faith, by equating a belief in God to a belief in fairies. For people who preach about equal rights for all, they don’t do a very good job of expressing that belief, and they alienate a potential support base in gay Christians (we do exist!) or Christians who are straight but support equal rights.

Both opinions are stupid.

Well, in my humble opinion. Both sides are so busy shouting at each other, they don’t even try to look for a way forward. They could, should, find a level playing field by getting to understand the mindset of gay Christians. The activists could attempt to understand the convictions of our faith, the Christians could attempt to see why we believe we are God’s gay children. If either side could, for one moment, believe what we believe, maybe we could end this war. Instead we are dismissed as self-hating by gays, and as false Christians by those of faith. It’s a sad state of affairs.

Anyway, next time another such a debate kicks off (next week, probably), I just wonder if someone’ll say: hold up, let’s stop shouting and talk. If we can’t be friends, we don’t have to be enemies. There are people who have reconciliated their sexuality with their faith, and maybe we can do the same.

Or maybe not.

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A follow-up article: The Thank You Post